Paper and Ashes
by WildSoul7
Summary: Burnt journal entries of the princess and the acrobat. After Sozin's Comet. I'd be happy to receive reviews.


They call me a fool, but I am no fool. They say she is consumed by vice. Maybe they're right. Still, I've seen virtue inside her. Even the dark of the night sky is lit with the moon and stars. I will not give up. There is light inside her darkness; there is virtue buried beneath her vice.

I am a lost cause, an animalistic shell of my former glory. I can see it in their eyes; they've accepted this and no longer bear any pretense of compassion. Some never cared. Everyone has cast the failure into another dark corner, fed up with trying to fix it, except her. She still hopes to find something. I am not sure what she wants; I have nothing left. And yet, I still see that light in her eyes. She is still looking, but she'll never find what she seeks. I am lost, and her search is hopeless.

I could taste the poison on her lips. I always knew she was dangerous. Their warnings fell on deaf ears. The venom on her tongue, the piercing eyes of a predator, the flames that erupt from her skin, I always knew she was dangerous. I always knew falling for her would be the death of me, and so, in that moment, I let myself fall. She is worth it all, and I will spend my entire existence dying just to spend my life with her.

She is absolutely infuriating with her infernal braid, obnoxiously pink wardrobe, warm smile, and those expressive, beautiful eyes… No, she is infernal, obnoxious, a traitorous excuse of a human. Those fake smiles, lying lips, and beaut- traitorous eyes will not deceive me again. I will not be fooled; she is the incarnate of betrayal. She will rue the day she ever thought she could just waltz back into my life as if she hadn't destroyed me. Damn her to oblivion; Agni save her.

I saw her today, visited her. She was just as I remember despite all the ways she has changed. Her eyes pierced me, searching for an answer to an unspoken question. I stared back at the girl I'd fallen for: the mad princess, the caged animal, the monster of war stories. Her skin was paler than I remembered, a white expanse covered in dirt, dust, and grime. It clung to her bones; little muscle or fat was left on her. Her body resembled a skeleton. Her black hair was messy and unkempt, but long, almost to the floor. Everything about her was pale and dull except her eyes. Her eyes were as brilliant gold as ever, touched by hints of darkness. They were wild and unyielding, just as I'd remembered. She was beautiful.

We just stared at each other. Silently willing the other to speak. It seemed like an eternity passed, we'd lost so many years after the war ended. I couldn't face her until today; seven years had passed since the war ended. She was tried the day after Zuko was crowned Fire Lord. I don't understand war trials, but from what Mai told me, Azula was lucky she even survived. All sides had been calling for her blood. They wanted vengeance, and no one could really blame them. The only thing that saved her was the Avatar and her brother. Aang and Zuko had called for mercy on her. Through their appeal they saved her, or saved her life at least.

But that's why I was here. I have to save the rest of her. I know it's possible. I know she isn't beyond repair. I still see that light in her eyes, and I will not abandon her ever again.

Seven years, and she chose to finally come. Curiosity must've finally gotten the best of her, she always was too curious for her own good. She stood there in front of the bars, staring at me. I would've made some snappy remark about how it was unbecoming of a noble woman to stare, but couldn't find the will to speak. She had changed, grown. Of course I'd expected as such, it would be foolish to assume in seven years nothing would change. She was taller. She'd been well endowed before, and she was even more so now, her curves had matured to that of a woman rather than a teenage girl. Her hair was shorter and no longer in her customary braid. Instead, it was pulled back into a messy bun. Her skin was a healthy tan, and she was dressed in drab earth kingdom colors. Even her eyes were different: big, gray, and beautiful, but less vibrant than I remembered. She looked wiser, weathered from seven years in the world outside the Fire Nation. I almost didn't recognize her. We stayed that way for a long while, looking at each other in silence. There was something in her eyes, a hope, a determination. She was here to "fix" me. I could tell by the way she looked at me. You fool. You stupid, stupid fool. Monsters can't be fixed, only sedated and eventually killed, and I am a monster, always have been, always will be.


End file.
